I thought self-love was a pool of crap when I first started hearing about it. When I really starting diving into what self love meant, I realized that by not having a self love practice I was actually keeping myself in a victim mentality. Victim mentality is when you don't take responsibility for yourself. You blame others for where you are and where you haven't gotten. When you stay in victim mentality you stay in a loop of feeling stuck. The only way out to through the uncomfortable CHANGE! You can tell if you should start a self love practice by making a list of all the things you love. I'll wait. Go make your list. Ok your back with your list.
Did you write down that you love yourself?
If you did, how far down in the list is it?
Usually we go to add ourself to the list after we have thought of everything else. This shows us that we are low on our own priority list. If we don't take the time to fill our cup with a self love practice - then we pour into others from an empty cup which then creates burnout! This is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. You are unable to meet the demands of your day because you haven't created the space and time to take care of you. When you fill your cup first you are able to know how much you can pour into others. When you know this you are able to create more time and energy because you aren't running behind on your list of things to do! Self Love means... Having high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Not settling for less than you deserve. Knowing your values and stating those boundaries. Taking the time to fill your own cup. Checking in with your body. This can look different for everyone. I believe that it must be a nonnegotible in our life. This means creating a routine that you pour into yourself so your body will function optimally. Then setting the boundary that you do it every day. If you notice that you feel guilty or selfish taking care of yourself first - go back in your mind and look for where you first learned that you put yourself lowest on the totem pole. Ask yourself if you want to continue believing the old lesson/story that taking care of yourself isn't worth it. From here its really time to set up a self love practice. Happiness is an inside job. There are several ways to develop a self love practice. But it starts with setting up self love routine and doing them every single day for at least 66 days. Here are 3 of my favorite self love practice that don't take time away from your busy schedule!
Self Love Daily Routines:
Toothbrush Dance Party
We all brush our teeth. Typically nothing is going on in our minds when we do this. Just a normal routine that we have put in place. I want you to have a dance party each time you brush your teeth. Move your shoulders. Move your hips. Make yourself giggle. Put on music or hum tune.
This will trigger your brain to actually release the happy hormone (serotonin) into your body. So you are starting your day on a good foot!
When you are making transitions, your going to catch yourself falling into old patterns. Especially with negative self talk. So I want you to start catching yourself. Anytime you say something negative or an old belief pattern say "Delete Delete" then tell yourself the positive version or the new belief pattern.
I want you to base these transitions in GRATITUDE. At the end of each night before you go to bed. We want to run through a list of all things we are grateful for. This is such an important routine to put in place. Gratefulness triggers the brain in such amazing ways.
If you cant think of anything you are grateful for, here are some options.
Be grateful for where you currently are.
Be grateful for where you are working on going.
Be grateful for your mind.
Be grateful for your lungs.
Be grateful for rest.
Be grateful for the earth, sun and moon.
Watch this video to learn more about self love!